Hello. I’ve been inspired to write this short message on why some people relapse because of a recent post I read from a very frustrated young man here on noFap, and I’ll also share with you a unique strategy commonly used in alcoholic patients that you may find helpful. So, without further ado, here we go: Why do some people relapse after 90/180/360 days?
You’d think that a guy who makes it to 90 days would be free from PMO forever, right? Well, based on the amount of reports we’re seeing here on noFap, it’s fairly obvious that some people who reach three, six, even twelve months of hard mode fall back into the habit. Most of the reasons given is that urges suddenly “creeps up on them”, usually during a “bad day”.
In my opinion, the main reason for this is a misconception of how the body works during addiction recovery. You’ve probably seen that famous Lord Of The Rings noFap poster that features old-Theoden as Day 0, then new-Theoden as day 20, then Aragorn as day 40, the grey-Gandalf as Day 60, then white-Gandalf as Day 90. It’s all very inspiring, but this is absolute hogwash because it pretends that addiction recovery is a linear progress like this: Diagram of noFap progress as linear
Basically, the claim is that if you start noFap, then the superpowers will just keep on growing nonstop, forever, past 90 days and onward. This is impossible! No matter what you do, a human being simply cannot keep maturing at a constant pace. It will have to pull back eventually and regroup, making it seem as if noFap has suddenly stopped working, when in fact the body and brain are just taking a break to get ready for another surge. Rather than a straight line, PMO recovery actually looks more like this: Diagram of noFap progress as bouncing
If you think this is far out, take a look at the stock/forex/indices markets: Diagram of the S&P with the same principle
In the example above, the S&P is clearly dominating, but notice that it keeps bouncing up and down in a zigzag pattern despite a general uptrend. A poor trader zooms in only in that particular moment and think that the downward bounce is indicative that the S&P is finally going to fail. If he bet money on it, he’d be broke by now. Every bounce downward is only TEMPORARY. If you zoom out and see the big picture, you’ll clearly notice that the general trend is still going upward.
Same with noFap. After 30 days, the body will stop producing superpowers, and your self esteem will drop. If you focus only on that moment, you might think that noFap is a failure and will likely relapse. However, if you hold on, you’ll soon figure out that the body was simply SHORING UP RESOURCES to resume for ANOTHER PUSH upward, just like when the ocean has to pull back in order to make a bigger tide. You’d have wasted a month if you gave in to the temporary lapse when nothing is happening! The Tapering Strategy
For severe PMO addicts, I'd like to share a strategy that I learned back in my days working at a rehab clinic. Basically, some alcoholics are so addicted that a sudden cold turkey (i.e. quitting outright) will lead to the body reacting so violently that it will often cause the patient to have seizures and die. Obviously, PMO doesn’t cause us to die when we stop, but the withdrawal symptoms for some will be so harsh that it would feel like dying, so they relapse. What’s the solution?
What the alcoholics are usually advised is to slowly ratchet down the amount of drinks they take. They can still drink, only that the amount will decrease by minute portions everyday until it finally drops to zero. This way, the body can adjust normally, and the willpower to quit won’t suddenly give out. Applying that to noFap, here’s what it might look like:
Day 1 – PMO as much as you like
Day 2 – Break
Day 3 – PMO as much as you like
Day 4 – Break
Day 5 – Break
Day 6 – PMO as much as you like
Day 7 – Break
Day 8 – Break
Day 9 – Break
Day 10 – PMO as much as you like
…and so on.
This might seem counterintuitive, but you are able to train your willpower by slowly ratcheting up the challenge rather than biting on a piece of stick and going 90-days hard mode at once. I don’t care who you are, you can certainly do one day of no PMO! And after you’ve had your “fix”, you can try to do two days clean. Then get your “fix” again, then do three days clean, and so on, until the intervals between sessions grow wide enough as to render PMO irrelevant. This way, the addiction becomes much more managable to kick.
Of course, it’s not a guarantee of success, but who knows? If you're a hard case PMO addict, give it a try!
I hope you like my post. Long Live and Prosper! TL;DR noFap works in a zigzag pattern, not a linear progression. Also, you might want to space out your PMO rather than go cold turkey.
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